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document.write('<br><br>')
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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('SOONER BETTER THAN LATER')

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document.write('</span><span class="sidebartext">')

document.write(' Great granddaddy Floyd turned 100 the other day, and all his kin gathered to toss him a mighty fine shindig. Floyd, who was all spiffed up, was still sharp as a tack and had all his acorns and all his teeth. One of his great grandsons - the first to graduate from college-asked him, "Granddaddy, if you had to live your life over, would you make the same mistakes again?" Taking a deep drag off his corncob pipe, Floyd replied, "I surely would... only I’d start a whole lot sooner."<br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('EM-BARE-ASSMENT')

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document.write('While playing golf in Pennsylvania, Geoff Toonder putted out and walked back to the cart. As his playing partner, Dr. Bob Oristaglio, sank the putt, Toonder suddenly jumped out of the cart and dropped his pants. He had suffered a bee sting on his rear and asked Dr. Oristaglio to get the stinger out.<br>')

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document.write('The sight of a man kneeling next to his playing partner’s bare butt bemused the golfers playing behind the twosome. The group rode up to the two men and asked one simple question: "What was the bet?"<br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('SLEEPLESS IN MARYLAND')

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document.write(' Among the reasons why Princeton lost to Michigan in the semifinals of the 1965 NCAA Tournament was the sleeping arrangements at the team’s hotel.<br>')

document.write('<br>') 

document.write( 'At least that’s what star Bill Bradley said<br>')

document.write('<br>')  

document.write(' The night before the Michigan game, the Princeton squad flew from New Jersey to College Park, Maryland, site of the Final Four.  “When we checked into a motel—I think it was a Howard Johnson—my roommate and I discovered there were no beds,” Bradley recalled. “All we had were pull-out sofas. That’s what they had us sleeping on. We thought, ‘Here we are in the finals, and they can’t even give us a reasonable bed.’”<br>') 

document.write('Despite a restless night, Bradley scored 29 points the next day, but his bleary-eyed teammates couldn’t keep up with the Michigan Wolverines and lost, 93-76.<br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write('</span><span class="sidebartext">')

document.write(' Millie, a two-year-old Staffordshire bull terrier, accidentally gulped down an entire stick only two inches shorter than her own body. Incredibly, she suffered no serious injuries.<br>')

document.write('<br>') 

document.write( 'Millie was playing fetch with her owner John Hurst in a field behind his home in Portsmouth, England in March 2005.  Hurst threw a 16-inch stick for Millie to retrieve, but it stuck in the ground like a javelin. The sprinting dog dived on it mouth first and swallowed it whole, effectively impaling herself.<br>')

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document.write(' Fearing the worst, Hurst rushed his pet to a vet, who discovered the stick had worked its way down Millie’s throat and deep into her stomach. Miraculously, the stick didn’t hit any vital organs. After a two-hour operation, the only injury to Millie was a small scratch inside her stomach.<br>') 

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document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write('<br><br>')

document.write(' When a distressed duck saw that her babies were in trouble, she did what any good mother would do — she summoned police. <br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' Officer Ray Petersen was walking in downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, in 2001 when a quacking duck tugged at his pants leg.<br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' The officer finally went to investigate and that’s when he spotted eight tiny ducklings a few feet under the grate of a storm drain. They apparently had fallen through the gaps. After Petersen called for additional help, two officers arrived with a tow truck. Together, they lifted off the grate and pulled each of the four-inch-long ducklings to safety with a vegetable strainer… Once the ducklings were safe, the mother duck quickly marched them off to a nearby creek where they jumped into the water and paddled away. <br>')

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document.write('<br>______________<br>')

document.write('<br><br>')

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document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write('<br><br>')

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document.write(' Minnimore was one of the first cats in England to gain notoriety as a klepto-kitty. He began his life of crime in 1990 when he stole a pink powderpuff from his neighbor’s house. His owner, Cilla Karmel, of Tunbridge Wells, England, assumed it was an isolated incident. She was wrong.<br>')  

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' Over the next seven years, Minnimore sneaked into open windows and cat flaps of neighbors and snatched more than 160 items.  Among the items were a fur hat, feather dusters, bedroom slippers, evening gloves and, his favorite, stuffed animals, including three teddy bears from the room of a 12-year-old neighbor. Karmel had to go around the neighborhood with a basket of stolen loot to find the owners.<br>') 

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document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write('<br><br>')

document.write(' In 2001, Anthony Joshua was fishing on the banks of the River Wye in England when he noticed what looked like a pile of clothes floating by. Thinking nothing of it, he cast off and snagged it on his third try.<br>')

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document.write(' Joshua recalled, “I couldn’t believe it when I realized it was a man. I knew I had to get him out. He was blue and shaking violently. I didn’t think he had long to live.” <br>')

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document.write(' Moments earlier a 60-year-old man had been walking along the riverbank when he slipped and fell into the frigid water. He was close to death when Joshua hooked the drowning man and brought him to shore where the angler revived him and then summoned help. <br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write('</span><br>')




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document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write(' In 1997, Bill Morse, a 7-handicap golfer from Hartford, Conn., celebrated his 51st birthday in a bizarre way. At Connecticut’s Country Club of Farmington, Morse launched his ball from the first tee, and it came to rest in the cup at the 18th!  The drive had sailed through the branches of a large spruce tree 50 yards away, then reversed directions when it caromed off rocks near a cart path. The banged-up ball landed on the left front of the l8th green and rolled about 30 feet into the cup. <br>')

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document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write('<br><br>')

document.write(' During the 1939 U.S. Open, Byron Nelson hit the pin six times from the tee or the fairway. <br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' But not one of those shots dropped in the cup for an ace or an eagle. The shots were struck with six different clubs—wedge, 9- iron, 6-iron, 4-iron, 1-iron and driver. The bad luck led to a tie and an 18-hole Monday playoff, which he won with a 70 that included a pin-clicking eagle on the par-4 fourth hole. Nelson said that had he lost, it would have been one of the most frustrating losses of his career. <br>')

document.write('<br><br>')
document.write('<br><br>')
document.write('<br><br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('EXCERPTS')

document.write('<br>')

document.write('<br></span><span class="sidebartext">')

document.write(' First officer Keith Spillman was in the cockpit of a DC-9 waiting for the passengers to board when a woman stuck her head in the open door. "Do you know what all those dials and switches do?" she asked nervously.<br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' "No, I only touch the shiny switches so I know I won’t get in trouble, he joked.<br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' Zoom. Out of the cockpit, up the jetway she ran with Spillman following behind her. The frowning gate agent told the pilot, "Thanks a lot. We’ve spent almost an hour trying to convince her it was safe to fly. We told her to have a look at the cockpit and talk to the crew for reassurance. You sure took care of her!"<br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' Even the promise of a seat in first class couldn’t lure the woman back onto the plane. <br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

document.write('</span><br>')

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// END SIDEBAR AREA PARAGRAPH 9


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document.write('<span class="sidebartitle">')

document.write('EXCERPTS')

document.write('<br>')

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document.write('<br><br>')

document.write(' Phoenix lawyer Clint Batterton was trying to lighten his cross-examination of an anesthesiologist who was a plaintiff in a securities fraud case.  <br>')

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document.write(' “I guess that means you and I are in the same business because we both put people to sleep,” Batterton joked. <br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' “Yes,” replied the witness, “but I wake them up.” <br>')

document.write('<br><br>')
document.write('<br><br>')
document.write('<br><br>')
document.write('<br><br>')

document.write('<br>______________<br>')

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document.write('</span><br>')

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document.write('EXCERPTS')

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document.write('<br></span><span class="sidebartext">')

document.write(' Amateur Lew Cullum had to mark down a 9 on his scorecard — for shooting an “ace.” <br>')

document.write('<br>')

document.write(' In 1967, Cullum, of Largo, Florida, encountered a world of problems on the par-3, 145-yard 11th hole at Yacht Club Estates Golf Club in St. Petersburg, Florida. It started with a flubbed tee shot into the lake surrounding the hole. Then he sent another drive into the drink. And another… and another. <br>')

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document.write(' On his fifth try, his tee shot cleared the lake, landed neatly on the green — and rolled right into the cup for what would have been an ace had he hit it on his first attempt. But because of the stroke and distance penalties from his first four errant shots, Cullum ended up shooting a hole in nine. <br>')

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document.write(''+searchtext+'<br>')
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document.write('<input type="hidden" name="any selected">')
document.write('<input size="15" name="q" value="" class="searchform">&nbsp;<input type=submit value="Go!" name="btnG" class="searchbutton"><br>')
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// -- END -->